So I remember this plot from a manga I read in elementary school (The name is 龍狼傳 btw), where the main character is trying to impress someone (say Bob) about his kung fu skills by beating his followers like crazy, then Bob’s advisor feels angry and ask Bob something like: “Sure that’s impressive, but don’t you think he is too prideful??”, and Bob replied, “No, this is not pride, this is confidence.”

Well that sounded all cool and stuffs, but that brings us the question to discuss today: What’s the difference between pride and confidence?

This question popped up in my head today because one of my dad’s friend’s son just got in Berkeley, and he’s also interested in math and want to participate in Putnam competition (a national undergraduate math contest that I did relatively well in), so I’m sorta helping him along.  Then after talking to him on the phone today I was thinking to myself, “Well, a lot of time I sorta sound cocky when I talk to people about subjects such as math and stuffs, am I too prideful? Should I repent and act more humble?”

To be honest, I did have some great achievements in the past that may lead me to being proud.  Such as being on the winning team in the Harvard-MIT math competition (despite the fact that our team was formed on an internet math forum and we only get together and practiced for an hour the day before), maintaining a 3.9x GPA in Berkeley, having the top score in Putnam competition amongst students from Berkeley, and the one my family made the hugest deal out of, getting an internship this summer at Google.

As you can see from the paragraph about it sounds like I’m bragging.  Maybe I am, because I am really happy about those achievements and I like to share them with everyone who I come across with.

But in the end I conclude that I am not proud; I am simply confident about my ability.  Why am I so sure?

BECAUSE I KNOW MY LIMITATIONS.  To reach where I am now, I had read many books, solved many problems, and had struggled with questions so difficult that it took months or in one case years before I finally solved the problem.  I have participated in many competitions in different areas, I know what GENIUS means, and I know I am not one of them.  That’s why I really hated when people call me a genius; they think that way only because they never know a real genius.

So even though I did things like signed up for a math class, then not go to class at all except 3 times (2 midterms and 1 final), I will not say that I’m arrogant, but I’m confident.  What’s the difference? The arrogant people thinks: “I am so smart that this is a piece of cake; why bother spending time on it?”, But the confident people thinks: “I’ve seen difficult problems, I’ve been through hard times, and I know that I’m not as smart as I know some of the people are.  But this is well below my limit I can handle it.”

So what’s the fundamental difference between pride and confidence?  Pride is based on an untested blind belief in one’s capability, but confidence emerges from numerous trials, hard works, frustrations, and even defeats.

We’ve all seen books that say “Acting confident is the key to success,” but a mere pretense of confidence simply reveals ignorance.  If confidence is not based on experience, it is not confidence.  The only way to become a confident person is to put in numerous practices and struggle over difficult problems.

May we all examine ourselves and see whether we’re being confident, or are simply arrogant.  Amen.